Satya, truth

Satya is a Yogic principle that means to be truthful with yourself and others, and to live in a way that is honest with your personal values and beliefs.

I have not been honest.

With you or myself.

I haven't practiced Yoga in a long time. 

I teach, coach, consult, and demonstrate Yoga. I've told myself I practice Yoga several times a week because I'm in the studio and with clients all the time. 

I let the "business" of Yoga keep me away from my practice.

I plan inspiring lessons, schedule appointments, show up for everybody else. (even when they don't) I clean, pay bills, create more classes and workshops, market, clean some more, market some more, eat, sleep, and get up and do it again.

This is AFTER cutting back on some other aspects of the "business" of Yoga.

TODAY I came back to my practice.

I woke up alone in the clothes I was wearing the night before. My partner was already gone. I felt tired from being up most the night reading and studying.

I went back to sleep and did not wake up until mid afternoon. 

When I finally pulled myself up I managed to get some coffee going through squinty eyes. I savored two large mugs of coffee with heavy cream while I scrolled Facebook, checked messages, and watched random tutorials. There was a short one from Marie Forleo that caused me to feel a small stirring inside. It was about self care. I almost didn't watch it, because, hey, I teach this stuff! 

Sometimes we need somebody else to point out the obvious. It's time to come back to myself...again.

I felt this overwhelming desire to get back on my mat...alone.

I went to the Yoga studio in the same clothes I wore the night before with my unbrushed hair pulled back in a ponytail. I did manage to brush my teeth! 

I pulled up a playlist from a long time ago and began to move my body slowly.

I closed my eyes, let the music carry me, and dropped down into the sensation of my body. 

I let my body tell me what to do, where to go next, and how long to hold.

I lost track of time.

I felt bands of tension stretching.

I felt stuck energy moving.

My body began to feel alive again.

My mind became more clear.

My muscles remembered where to go and what to do. 

I felt my vertebrae moving and shifting, my shoulders and core supporting me as my body turned upside down. My SI joint popped loudly as it released. I felt a burning sensation in my tailbone as the stuck energy disapated and the pain stored in my lower back went away.

I was amazed at the strength and flexibility I still had in spite of not really practicing for so long. Yoga. No instruction, no structure, just listening to myself.

My playlist let me know I had been at it for about an hour. I heard the familiar song that I used to play for Savasana a long time ago...welcoming me back home to myself.