I was in Anacortes Sunday enjoying a very rare opportunity to just be with myself. As I walked down the main street, I was looking forward to finally being able to participate in a few of my favorite pastimes; browsing through bookstores, connecting with people, and drinking coffee.
I first strolled up to Pelican Bay Books & Coffee. Unfortunately, it was closed.
I kept walking to my next destination, Watermark Books. I was pleasantly surprised to find it open on a Sunday. I was greeted right away with a friendly smile and offers of help. I inhaled the scent of fresh books and immediately felt at home.
I took my time browsing all the shelves, and was drawn to some beautiful journals and stationary. It took me back to a time when writing to people and sending cards for special occasions was something I regularly did. I had a special bound book where I would store cards as I found them and save them for just the right person and occasion. I also kept a calendar of meaningful dates on my wall so I wouldn’t forget anything.
With the ease and convenience of electronic communication, and the ridiculous amount of time I spent running my downtown business for 5 years, the most important things in my life slowly began to slip away. I have felt pieces of myself get chipped away and fall to the ground where I thought I could retrieve them when I wasn’t so busy. Important relationships took a back seat to the less meaningful tasks of attempting to keep a business going that wasn’t even nourishing my soul the way my family and friends could.
Feelings of anxiety and guilt were now common as I continued to make excuses for not visiting, not calling, not being present. “The business, you know, it just takes so much out of me, there’s nothing left over for anyone else, much less myself.”
I decided in that moment to take back control of nurturing what is most important to me; my relationships. With myself, family, friends, acquaintances, clients, students, new people I meet, people I do business with, people I encounter everyday. There is nothing that matters more to me.
I purchased a beautiful set of 100 postcards. I will keep them at my desk so I can write spontaneous notes to the people I care about. It will be a part of my regular morning work routine, when my most important tasks are handled first.
I am beginning to feel a piece of myself coming back to life after being blinded by the illusion of the “American Dream.”
You can design your life any way you want it. You decide how, when, and where to live your life. Nobody else gets to decide for you.
If you need some help getting back control of your life, or an accountability partner, schedule a consultation with me. I can help you sort it all out.